标题：MS Bids to Acquire Catholic Church

转载自: 水木社区

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VATICAN CITY -- In a joint press conference in St. Peter's Square this morning,
Microsoft
Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire
the Roman
Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of Microsoft
common stock. If
the deal goes through, it will be the first time a computer software company
has acquired a major
world religion.

With the acquisition, Pope John Paul II will become the senior Vice-president
of the combined
company's new Religious Software Division, while Microsoft senior
vice-presidents Michael
Maples and Steven Ballmer will be invested in the College of Cardinals, said
Microsoft Chairman
Bill Gates.

"We expect a lot of growth in the religious market in the next five to ten
years," said Gates. "The
combined resources of Microsoft and the Catholic Church will allow us to make
religion easier
and more fun for a broader range of people."

Through the Microsoft Network, the company's new on-line service, "we will make
the
sacraments available on-line for the first time" and revive the popular
pre-Counter-Reformation
practice of selling indulgences, said Gates. "You can get Communion, confess
your sins, receive
absolution -- even reduce your time in Purgatory -- all without leaving your
home."

A new software application, Microsoft Church, will include a macro language
which you can
program to download heavenly graces automatically while you are away from your
computer.

An estimated 17,000 people attended the announcement in St Peter's Square,
watching on a
60-foot screen as comedian Don Novello -- in character as Father Guido Sarducci
-- hosted
the event, which was broadcast by satellite to 700 sites worldwide.

Pope John Paul II said little during the announcement. When Novello chided
Gates, "Now I guess
you get to wear one of these pointy hats," the crowd roared, but the pontiff's
smile seemed
strained.

The deal grants Microsoft exclusive electronic rights to the Bible and the
Vatican's prized art
collection, which includes works by such masters as Michelangelo and Da Vinci.
But critics say
Microsoft will face stiff challenges if it attempts to limit competitors'
access to these key
intellectual properties.

"The Jewish people invented the look and feel of the holy scriptures," said
Rabbi David Gottschalk
of Philadelphia. "You take the parting of the Red Sea -- we had that thousands
of years before the
Catholics came on the scene."

But others argue that the Catholic and Jewish faiths both draw on a common
Abrahamic heritage.
"The Catholic Church has just been more successful in marketing it to a larger
audience," notes
Notre Dame theologian Father Kenneth Madigan. Over the last 2,000 years, the
Catholic
Church's market share has increased dramatically, while Judaism, which was the
first to offer
many of the concepts now touted by Christianity, lags behind.

Historically, the Church has a reputation as an aggressive competitor, leading
crusades to
pressure people to upgrade to Catholicism, and entering into exclusive
licensing arrangements in
various kingdoms whereby all subjects were instilled with Catholicism, whether
or not they
planned to use it. Today Christianity is available from several denominations,
but the Catholic
version is still the most widely used. The Church's mission is to reach "the
four corners of the
earth," echoing Microsoft's vision of "a computer on every desktop and in every
home".

Gates described Microsoft's long-term strategy to develop a scalable religious
architecture that
will support all religions through emulation. A single core religion will be
offered with a choice of
interfaces according to the religion desired -- "One religion, a couple of
different
implementations," said Gates.

The Microsoft move could spark a wave of mergers and acquisitions, according to
Herb Peters, a
spokesman for the U.S. Southern Baptist Conference, as other churches scramble
to strengthen
their position in the increasingly competitive religious market.
(MS Bids to Acquire Catholic Church 英语笑话 www.tuoude.com-兔偶得-笑话大全|幽默笑话|成人幽默|经典笑话|搞笑短信|冷笑话|小笑话)

2008-02-17 21:49:20

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