标题：Microsoft's new "Cool User" Program

转载自: 水木社区

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Microsoft's new "Cool User" Program

REDMOND, WASHINGTON -- In order to calm growing impatience among PC users
concerning the repea ted delays of its new Windows 95 operating system,
Microsoft Corporation
announced what it cal ls the "Cool User Program for Windows 95." To participate
in this offer, a
user pays US$10,000 at which time he or she will be placed in a cryogenic
suspension. The user
will then remain in a state of hibernation until about a week before the
Windows 95 ship date.

"We expect that the users will need a few days to recuperate and acquaint
themselves with the
changes that will occur in society between the onset of cold sleep and the
release of Windows9 5,"
explained a Microsoft spokesman. These may include "the OJ Simpson trial ending,
another m
omentous Congressional election, faster-than-light travel and possible leaps in
human evolutio
n."

Because Microsoft expects a large response to this offer, a vast area will be
needed for the s
torage facility. "We have chosen the state of Utah," stated Microsoft, "because
nobody lives there
anyway."

Spokespeople for Novell and WordPerfect were reached for comment on this remark,
but their
wor ds were not suitable for publication.

IBM Corporation, which has previously responded to Microsoft promotions with
competing offers
for their OS/2 Warp said they would not be matching Microsoft's "Cool User"
program. "Freeze p
eople? What for? Warp has already been shipping for months," said a source who
asked not to be
identified.

Some industry analysts have wasted no time hailing Microsoft's plan as a "bold,
innovative" mo
ve. In columnist Michael S. Brown's opinion column "M.S. Brown Knows" which
appears in PC
Weak , Brown claims, "IBM has missed the boat again with their failing OS/2
strategy. Users
clearly want to be frozen in liquid nitrogen and sealed in coffin-like units
for an indeterminate per
iod of time.

Michael S. Brown made national headlines three years ago when he claimed that
if "Windows NT
d idn't completely replace DOS in six months" he would chain himself to grating
comedian Gilbert
Godfried. Today he clarifies that "I didn't say which six months."

The cryogenic facility in Utah is expected to be on line April 1, 1995, but
users wishing to b eta test
the system may do so for a reduced fee of US$3,000.
(Microsoft's new "Cool User" Program 英语笑话 www.tuoude.com-兔偶得-笑话大全|幽默笑话|成人幽默|经典笑话|搞笑短信|冷笑话|小笑话)

2008-02-17 21:56:19

121.27.116.*

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