标题：Star Trek... The Lost Episode

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Star Trek... The Lost Episode

Recent reports of a lost episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation have finally
been confirmed.
And now, for your reading pleasure, we are proud to present the entire
transcript. Enjoy!

The crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise have encountered the Borg.

Picard: "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a
weakness in the
Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathway?"

Geordi: "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our
archives on late
Twentieth-century computing technology."

Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.

Riker (looks puzzled): "What the hell is a Microsoft?"

Data (turns to answer): "Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for
some reason called
'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command
unit, it will
begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."

Picard: "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their
processing systems to
increase their storage capacity?"

Data: "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new version
of itself known as
an 'upgrade'. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration.
The Borg will not
be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability
will be taken over and
none will be available for their normal operational functions."

Picard: "Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable geometric
shape' idea."

15 minutes later

Data: "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the command
unit and as
expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources. We however have not
received any
confirmation of the expected 'upgrade'."

Geordi: "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU
capacity to
compensate, but we still have no indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for
their increase."

Picard: "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if there is something
we missed."

Data: "Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'.
Apparently the Borg have
circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards."

Riker: "Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency
escape sequence
3F."

Geordi (excited): "Wait, Captain, I just detected their CPU capacity has
suddenly dropped to
0%!"

Picard: "Data, what do scanners show?"

Data: "Apparently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named '
Solitaire' and it
has used up all the CPU capacity."

Picard: "Let's wait and see how long this 'Solitaire' can reduce their
functionality."

Riker: "Geordi, what's the status of the Borg?"

Geordi: "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for
increase CPU
and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have
setup our closest
deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'Windows' modules from something
called the
'Microsoft Fun-Pac One'."

Picard: "How much time will that buy us?"

Data: "Current Borg solutions rates allow me to predicate an interest time span
of 6 more hours."

Geordi: "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."

Picard: "Identify."

Data: "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo!"

Over the speakers: "This is Admiral Bill Gates of the Microsoft Flagship '
Monopoly'. We have
positive confirmation of unregistered sofware in this sector. Surrender all
assets and we can avoid
any trouble. You have 10 seconds to comply."

Data: "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released
thousands of humanoid
shaped objects."

Picard: "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!"

Riker: "Good God Captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg
ship with no life
support suits! How can they survive deep space?!"

Data: "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you look closer I believe
you will see that they
are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin
leather briefcases,
and wearing Armani suits!"

Riker and Picard (horrified): "Lawyers!!!"

Geordi: "It can't be. All the lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into
the sun in 2017 during
the Great Awakening."

Data: "True, but apparently some must have survived."

Riker: "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are convering it with pieces of
paper."

Data: "I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as 'red tape' -- it often
proves fatal."

Riker: "They're tearing the Borg to pieces!"

Picard: "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch. Not even the Borg
deserve that."
(Star Trek... The Lost Episode 英语笑话 www.tuoude.com-兔偶得-笑话大全|幽默笑话|成人幽默|经典笑话|搞笑短信|冷笑话|小笑话)

2008-02-17 21:57:01

121.27.116.*

兔偶得，笑话大全，给您的生活增添一分欢笑，如果您在这里找到了好心情，别忘了推荐给您的朋友哦～

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